Happy Holidays!

Haven't written in a while...

So I am actually down in So Cal again to celebrate my holiday with close friends and family.

First was Christmas eve...I spent it with Erik and Adi. It was great. I had fun. We haven't really spent the holidays together until this year. It's certainly one of the most memorable holiday that deserved to be put on my blog :).

We went to Christmas midnight mass together, then we spent the Christmas day buying a gift for my niece and driving down to OC, then we saw a movie, Slumdog Millionaire....two thumbs up from me.


And of course, to see my niece enjoying her Christmas present from me is priceless....

On the other side, I still can't get over Bong....seeing one of his close friends made me reminisce again...I thought I was fine...but I guess I'm not...I just have to keep telling myself that it is normal and that it takes time to get over someone you're in love with.

Happy Holidays everyone...I promise I'll update it as often as I can with more positive stories. I pray that Bong is happy. And at the same time, pray for myself to be happy as well because I deserve it ;)

OH!...and I graduated =). I have a master degree now...

Mr. Yonius Saritoh, B.A., B.S., M.S.

*AHEM*

Tonight

I just realized that I deserve better =)

Current mood: giddy.

ENOUGH, YO

Our Non-Traditional Thanksgiving Dinner

So, our family never really celebrated Thanksgiving until this year. Plus the fact that half of our family is back in Indo, we never really felt the joy of being in a complete full family...and so...I proposed to have a dinner together just to celebrate. Did we have turkey? No...we went to a Korean BBQ restaurant instead...here's some pictures...









It was a small family dinner...but I feel blessed :) Happy Thanksgiving all.

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."

She brightens my day everyday...

Diggin through...

I found this old video I made of myself almost 1 1/2 years ago...




and here I am...what changes??? Leen told me I should make a follow up...I may be doing it soon...

Another one...

I just realized I took a lot of pictures with Calie this past weekend...hahah...this is one of the very many favorite ones from me:

Love of my life

Our chessy smiles...

Rainy day

It's raining hard today

I miss Calie
I miss my mom
I miss Bong
I miss O.C.

=(

I don't know which one hurts more. You moving on or you not even treating me like i'm one of your close friends.

I'll never forget today.

Another Great One...

Another inspirational thought from her:

"As my great uncle said, 'Brothers and sisters, try to eliminate these words from your vocabulary: I don’t have time. The only people who have the right to say these words are those who are dead.' Give time to your God. Give time to your family. Give time to your friends. Give time to those who could become your family and friends if only you would give them time."

HOMELESS

Waiting here
For you to call me
For you to tell me
That everything's a big mistake

Waiting here
In this rainfall
Feeling so small
This dream was not suppose to break

I'm so sorry now
For the pain I caused you
Wont you please forgive
Please

But you don't love me anymore
You don't want me anymore
There's a sign on your door
No vacancy, just emptiness
Without your love
I'm homeless

In this cold
I'm walking aimless
Feeling helpless
Without a shelter from the storm

In my heart
I miss you so much
I'm missing your touch
And the bed that used to be so warm

I'm so sorry now
For the pain I caused you
Wont you please forgive
Please

But you don't love me anymore
You don't want me anymore
There's a sign on your door
No vacancy, just emptiness
Without your love
I'm homeless

My, My baby
I'm sorry...Oh

But you don't love me anymore
You don't want me anymore
There's a sign on your door
No vacancy, just emptiness
Without your love
I'm homeless

small things but powerful

So this weekend was interesting. I went to Vegas with Leen to see JT and friends...the concert was fun...except that's pretty much what I did in Vegas...the rest of the time, I couldn't even have fun because I kept thinking about Bong. *sigh* each day I find myself bringing myself down even lower and lower...3 visuals that describe how I currently feel based on my weekend:

1. No matter how seldom/often I talk to my friends, they are a part of my life no matter what and I love them...this one goes out for you, Mel:
2. I got a chance to hang out with my sis and niece for a couple of hours yesterday after driving back from Vegas. My sister lost weight because she's been throwing up a lot due to her pregnancy =(. My niece stays cute and always put a smile on my face. My epiphany moment with Calie: Bong called me and we talked on the phone for a couple of minutes. Everytime I hear his voice, my heart just aches because it reminds me that I'm not with Bong anymore. Right after I hung up the phone, my niece looked at me and say, "Soiku, why are you sad?" I was caught off guard when she asked me that...I snapped back and say, "What? Soiku's not sad..silly." Yes, I lied to her...That moment I knew that I have to change my ways. I can't keep being sad like this =( God sure knows how to remind me through my angel:
3. Last but not least...since this weekend, everytime I read this now...
I know that I don't anymore...

L.O.V.E

Last night, I had dinner with two of my dear friends in the city, Prelita and Marifel, they're sisters. It was a regular dinner like any other dinners that we've had before. We would talk about random stuff about life, school, work, future...just like any other normal conversation that would occur when you are having a get together with your friends.

At one point, we got to talk about family...not sure how it started...but there was this one conversation that struck my sensitivity and my whole reason for being a human being: love. Prelita and Marifel just lost their loved one, their Dad (or as Prelita would pronounce it "Daddy," with her Tagalog accent, which I think is authentic and very personal). They told me that their Mom would wake up every morning and go to their Dad's cemetery to replace the flowers with fresh ones. EVERY MORNING...I got teary-eyed when I heard that...heck...I still get teary eyed when I'm typing it right now. It doesn't make me sad, it doesn't bring me down, their story gives me hope...hope that LOVE does exists.

I know I am not in the same place in Bong's world anymore. Of course, it makes me feel sad and rejected. But I understand.

My friends' story gives me hope that one day, I'll be able to give and receive love just like their Mom and Dad.

Nervousness...

I am glad that I will be done with my grad school this December

However, I am super nervous about what's gonna happen next. My internship is going well but I doubt it's gonna become my full time job just because it is a start up company. I have been looking around and applying all over west coast. At this point, I am honestly living it up to God...wherever he wants me to be.

In the process of my re-branding website and portfolio. I'll give you a sneak peek of my new logo:

and the winner is...

Goodbye, my lover...

Just like my dear P said...I do have an attachment issue hahaha...I miss my car already...SOLD today, at 10:47 A.M.

You have been the one...
you have been the one for me... lol

flash back...way back..