The other side…

All of those breakup or heartbreak songs that you ever heard like “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor or the recent ones like “It’s Over” by Jesse McCartney are pretty clear in what side they are on…But I wonder…what did the other side had to say about it?

Looking at “I will survive” lyrics, I mean it’s pretty sad that you broke up with someone and then you came back from ‘outer space’ to ‘bother’ your ex-lover. Now your ex-lover told you to “turn around” and that “you’re not welcome anymore.” That’s sad and pathetic for you to do so. You’re the one who let go, and then now you want your ex-lover back? Uhmmm...who the f*ck do u think u are?

Same thing with the newer lyrics like “It’s Over” by Jesse McCartney…

'Cause I'm not comin' back I'm closin' the door,
I used to be trippin' over missin' you but I'm not anymore,

I mean your ex-lover, whom you broke up with, is moving on but you’re still not? uhmm...HELLOOOO?

I’m the guy on the other side of those songs...

And yes, it’s sad.

Crybaby

I hope when I read this blog later on, I would think back and just laugh because I am being silly.

These past two weeks have been pretty gloomy for me. Although the sun is shining out there right now, which is rare in the Sunset district, my feelings can’t seem to be on the same page with the weather today. I let go of something…and now I want it back.

Regrets. I know we all have it. But the question is how do you learn from it?

I have learned that you need to love yourself first before you love someone else. I have also learned that love is a one confusing equation. You can’t seem to put certain percentage of love away and still keep some

I pride myself on being a passionate person. I am not afraid to let my emotions show when it comes to people that I love and feel close to. However today, I question my own pride.

I, once again, broke down in front of the person that I love the most; showing Bong all of my imperfections, insecurities, and worst of all, my illogical thinking. I, once again, lost my sexy in front of the person that I want the most at the moment.

I took a step back and thought…is this really what I want? Or is this what I miss? A wise friend told me, when you miss someone you love, you forget all of the bad things that happened and you just focus on the good memories. I realize that. But why do I still want it back?

I know this is temporary. And I know this shall pass. I think deep down, I want to embrace it. I want to remember this pain, this unbearable feeling of missing someone and all of the great moments that we both went through, just a little longer.

So I know when the next chapter begins, I will fight harder for love. For it is worth fighting for.

I guess I know who’s the fool now.

PS: P, I need a hug from you

Love isn't a feeling, it's an ability.

what made my day today

So my sister called...

Ace: "Hold up, Calie has something to tell you"
Calie: " Soiku, mommy and daddy ada baby..." (in Indonesian)

you can pretty much translate that...

=)

Beautiful Soul..

We seriously need more people like her in this world.

I read her blog every now and then and thanks to P because she's the one who knows her...I really like her latest blog and I quote

"Just another day of realizing that 'just another day' here is just another miracle in my life."

And quotes like that makes me want to fill my days with positive thoughts...no negativity, no sadness, and definitely no anger...*sigh* I just can't look back.

I remember when you made me walk the running path back and forth just to look for you, while you're actually at home already
I remember when you lied to me
I remember New York
I remember when you threw my laundry basket and broke it
I remember when you didn't even look at me when you talked to me

but...

I remember my first Christmas with you
I remember my second Christmas with you
I also remember when you came up to me and kissed me in the middle of cleaning your place...
I also remember when you just kissed my cheek randomly that one night at The Abby...
I also remember when you were trying to pose while watching America's Next Top Model...
I also remember when you hugged me after I find out about my visa
I remember when you hugged me after I find out about my Dad on New Year's Eve
I remember when you cried and I hugged you and kissed you on the head
I remember San Diego Zoo
I remember my birthday this year
I remember Hawaii

F*CK!

I fuckin miss you =(

Loser's Playlist

This is what I listen to now...

1. Here I am – Leona Lewis
2. Ex Factor – Lauryn Hill
3. I Stay In Love – Mariah Carey
4. The Heart Of The Matter – India Arie
5. I Will Be – Leona Lewis
6. No More Complaining – Mila J
7. I Remember – Keyshia Cole
8. Until The End of Time – Justin Timberlake
9. It’s Over – Jesse McCartney
10. Lesson Learned – Alicia Keys
11. Better In Time – Leona Lewis
12. One Last Cry – J.C. Chasez
13. Irreplaceable – Beyonce
14. Better Off Without You – Tyrone Wells
15. One – Mary J. Blidge feat. Bono
16. Go Ahead – Alicia Keys
17. I Will Survive – Cake
18. Superwoman – Alicia Keys
19. God Will Make A Way – Vineyard
20. Officially Missing You – Tamia
21. Don’t Love You No More – Craig David
22. Goodbye My Lover – James Blunt
23. Look What You’ve Done – Jet
24. Let it Burn – Usher
25. Hurt – Christina Aguilera
26. Bad Day – Daniel Powter
27. Complicated – Robin Thicke
28. Whisper – Ernie Halter
29. Where Did My Baby Go? – John Legend
30. 6-8-12 – Brian McKnight
31. Do You – Ne-Yo
32. Go On Girl – Ne-Yo
33. It Ends Tonight – The All-American Rejects

And my playlist is called..."it will get better..."

*sigh*

P, don't be mad at me. When I heard this song in your car on our way back from Haight...i just realized....DAMN! this is my song!

We said let go but I kept on hangin' on
Inside I know it's over you're really gone
It's killing me cause there ain't nothing that I can do
Baby I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself that you'll come back around
And I try to front like 'Oh well' each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now, no matter what I do
Baby baby, I stay in love with you


=(

I'm still sad...

I'm better off without you
Except for when I sleep
I'm better off without you
Besides the time I breath
I keep telling myself
Maybe one day I'll believe
That I'm better off without you
And I'd never think about you
I'm better off without you

?

so someone tell me...
I was the one that made the decision
I was the one that made MY choice
But why does it still hurt?
I was on my way to the gym today and the radio were playing "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz...

...twice...

It made me think of you

so why is it that I'm not happy for the choice I have made for myself?

This is the longest I haven't talked to you...
I miss you...

=(

Looking at a photograph of you, you’re laughing
I'm standing by your side
I remember you were wearing my favorite perfume
How could you forget about the time you told me I was your only joy
Now when you want to smile,
What do you do, what do you do

today is not a good day at all

i've lost myself and i need to find myself back

no matter how many people i talk to, i neglected to include the most important thing to regain myself back: myself.

I Will Be - Leona Lewis

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said
goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly

You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe, cause
you're here with me

And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

Cause without you I cant sleep
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I've got, you're all I want
Yeah

And without you I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see,
You're all I need

And I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life (my life), I'll
be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

I will be (I'll be), all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

And all my life, you know I'll
be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

I just wish you know how special you are.
Must've meant something that you were my first.
I picked you.

It's all cause of P.S. I love you. Damn it.
Shouldn't have watched that movie last night

It might be the Hydroxycut too

Summer Grades...

MKT-332-C1	SALES MANAGEMENT	A-
MKT-331-C1	BUSINESS TO BUSINESS MKT	A-
MKT-343-SF1	INTERNATIONAL MARKETING	A+
MKT-321-SF1	DIRECT & DATABASE MARKETING	A+

P.T.A

And no. I'm not talking about the Parent Teacher Association. Just some stuff that my close friends said that give me reasons to put a smile on my face and live my life:

P (via text message): "Yonius, we need a day far removed from reality. And soon!..."
T (via phone conversation): "If we all get along, the world will be having orgies"
A (in person): "...It will get better in time..."

*sigh* I love my friends.

happy labor day

Just got home from my trip to OC. I am loving the weather down there although it is warm here in SF. The sadness is still there. I just hope this next semester will keep me busy and keep my mind off of things. I cannot wait to be done since it's my last semester. I'm also looking forward to my internship. I just have to focus. so. Focus, Yonius. some more pics from my trip....

my first car wash

I always have fun with Glenn

two of my fave peeps

with Nate

Alright, Calie...Soiku is leaving...give me your biggest smile for the camera...