What is the truth?

Last night was another blessed night I get to have. I get to hang out with Calie, the only person that can seem to just pick me up when I'm down or having a bad day. She makes me look at the world in the most simplistic ways and forms.

We were watching Aladdin together...and then there was a scene in the movie where Aladdin was pretending to be a Sultan and try to woo Jasmine. She then found out that he was the street rat that stole the apple for her...she was mad and question him...somewhere along that scene, Jasmine said, "Why didn't you just tell the truth to me?"

Calie turned and asked me, "Soiku, what is the truth?" The simplest question yet it took me a while to think about it. I could be technical and tried to explain it to her...but the 3 and a half year old would probably be confused. Or I can just put it in the most simplistic way...I told her..."the truth is when you speak from here (point to her heart), honey." She starred at me...you can tell she was thinking about it...then she said..."Like when I say...my name is Calie?" I laughed...I said to her..."that is the truth" :)

I swear, I surprise myself sometimes...I surprise myself lately. I've been speaking from my heart :) More quality time with Calie :)

Nice guys finish last...

Today's blog is about being a guy who's not giving up when it comes to finding love. We've all heard it before...all of these great theories when it comes to chasing someone or being chased...Everything from "the more you chase it, the harder you'll get it." or "you can't hurry love" or "you should play the game," "He's just not that into you," or "don't put your eggs in one basket."

Well...let's just say that I've heard all of those in a span of 1 week. Or maybe those sayings are just more apparent these past few weeks...why? it's obvious...cuz i'm "in like."

I'm scared, excited, happy, scared, foolish, silly, dumb, inspired, energized, giddy, every single emotions I could feel, I feel them all at the same time....did I mention that I'm scared?

Do I like it? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I do because I feel that butterfly feeling again...I feel those moments of not being able to let both my cheeks come down and relax...they keep raising up...my chinky eyes keep getting chinkier and chinkier....I don't because I'm afraid that I'm starting to feel a little attached...I'm starting to wonder what is he doing right now, what is he eating, is he thinking about me? is he talking to someone else? psycho, i know...

So I do what I do best, being myself. But being myself means I'm letting my wall down...being myself means I'm showing my foolishness...which I don't know if it's attractive or pushing that person away from me...being myself, also means that I'm kinda handing my heart pieces by pieces to him...will he crush it after he gets it? I don't know...the "not knowing" part kinda drives me crazy....but at the same time...it kinda gives me the rush, the rush of finding out and the excitement of not knowing...everything is jumbled up.

Being myself, also means being nice...willingness to do things for the person you care for...I'm nice, but should I be mysterious? because that's what intrigues people, right? that's what makes people interested in you...because they say nice guys finish last, right?

But I can't help but to question back...in this case, don't you want to finish last? don't you want to be the last person your loved ones choose? I mean, we finish last, but at least we finish, right? we finish with the ones that choose you...and you're the last person...no one else after you...isn't that the whole point?

All I know now...is that I'm using this quote as my inspiration:

“Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.” - Rose Franken

I know for sure I'm a silly guy when it comes to this...silly Yonius...*sigh*

PS: Happy Birthday, GF...I love you.