Bleh...

I must admit...it's been a hard week for me. I woke up each and every day thinking what should I do today to make me feel productive. I've applied to jobs, haven't heard from all of the interviews I've been to. I mean...seriously...I'm feeling a little disorganized. I have all the time in my world now and I starting to miss Bong again...a lot. *sigh* I hope things will get better...I know it will.

Sex in a relationship?

Honestly, this is just another rant from another complex guy, trying to make it in this world. I'm sure there's a lot of entries that are similar to what I'm about to ponder...

Sex in a relationship...how important is this?

I had a conversation with one of my dear friends last night discussing about this. He pretty much is struggling with his relationship right now because he's just not satisfied physically...HOWEVER, emotionally, his lover is completely competent in fulfilling that. I mean, yes, it can sound really shallow. BUT, at the same time, the boy has needs. And honestly, this goes beyond just pure sex. It's about attraction, it's about chemistry.

The more we discussed about it last night, the more I appreciate the rarity of finding that right person, to just have a chemistry with...

Then, of course, I looked back...with what I had with Bong....again....

How everything was just there. Chemistry, attraction, and most importantly, passion.

We fought our hearts out...then we make up.

I don't know if this is actually good or bad....but I know for a fact that I can never felt like that to a person ever again...

Very Productive Day

I FINALLY re-designed my website!!!!! Please check it out:

www.yoniusdesign.com

Also, totally into ABDC Season 3 now...my top three crews thus far:

I remember...

Sometime around this time last year....bong was sick...and I made arroz kaldo for the first time...le sigh....

LET GO!!!!!!

Today I was definitely tested to let go. And I think I failed. So I got a text message from Bong asking me about my dating life, which wasn't true. Regardless, I had to open my big mouth to my friend, and he told a friend, and then went to Bong. Basically the whole thing got into this big commotion that was unnecessary.

What have I learned from this? I have learned that I still am very sensitive about what's been said about me to Bong. I have also learned that Bong doesn't really care anyways but deep down, I want him to (I just learned about this as well).

So what's the conclusion? I freaking need to let go still...I thought I was doing fine. I guess I'm not. On my defense, it's the principal behind it. Something untrue was said about me and therefore I get worked up about it. However, next time I should've handled it better by not telling people about it. And go right to the source.

I just have to focus on finding a job for me. Seriously. Let go.

Freaking CornFed

So I'm watching Real Chance of Love and I relate myself A LOT to this girl, CornFed. There's a part when she said, "I wanna cry, I wanna smile, I have mixed emotions now!" as corny as that sounds, I felt like that once....she cried when she told Real that she's in love....it happened to me too haha...*sigh*

I know this is bad...reminiscing and all..this is the poem Bong wrote to me once.

Hi There

There's a reason why I haven't been writing for a while. I have been busy looking for a job. Yes. I am actually down in Southern California again because I had a job interview on Wednesday with Perkins+Will. I really hope I can get this job just because I feel like there's a lot opportunities for me to grow in this company. At the same time, I am hoping to stay here in the States due to my visa situation.

I had a chance to hang out with the people I wanted to hang with while I am down here. The more I come down here, the more I appreciate L.A. Weather's been perfect down here. I miss the hot, nice, beachy kinda weather.

Not sure if this has anything to do with me spending more time here but I feel like the older I get, the harder it is for me to gain new friends. I had a great conversation with Leen and she told me that the breakup between Bong and I had actually made me closer to my friends. I think she's right.

I'm gonna add a new resolution for my new years: to spend more time with my friends. It sounds really simple, but I've been really happy and content these past couple of days when spending time with my friends :).

3rd st Promenade with the boys

Of course, playing hide and seek with Calie is ALWAYS fun ;)

PS: I miss my sfbff......

Happy New Year 2009

So I have made a few resolutions for the year of 2009. I've read a few books about setting up goals and measuring results. I have to be as specific as I can. So here goes...

To find a steady job and stay here in the States

• I will apply for at least 5 job openings per week
• While doing this, I will design website, logos, layouts, t-shirt print, etc. to build my portfolio
• I will also commit at least 5 hours per week to update my website

To love my family and very close friends and put them first

• I will spend time with my close friends at least once a week
• I will write on my cousins' friendster wall, email, or text message them at least twice a month

To do martial arts

• I will join either Karate, Tae Kwon Do, or Jiu Jitsu as soon as I get a job.
• I will do my research for now and check which one fits me the most

To learn how to cook more foods

• I will cook at least 1 dish from Mens Health per month
• I will cook at least 1 dish from my chef roommate, John, or Fenny
• I will experiment at least 1 dish per month

To have a better workout routine and jog more

• I will continue going to the gym and commit at least 5 days per week
• I will incorporate jogging into one of my workout days
• I will eat healthier and eat more breakfast

They probably will grow over time and over years. But this is good for now. I'm gonna close this with a little fun video I made with animoto of Calie and I