that one person u call when u have troubles....

Just saw Closer again at Erik's place and it sorta brought me back to real life where I feel like obsession and love can get pretty blurry...was I obsessed with Bong? I don't know...I do know that when Erik described his relationship with his ex...it definitely is NOT what I have with Bong...they still call each other when they wanna have that one person to talk to...it's like they have that connection that will last even when they're not together...

Me? I went down my list on my iPhone when I want that one person to talk to...if that one person isn't available..then I go to the next one...lol...it's sad but HEY, at least I have people to talk to...it's just that...sometimes it's nice to be that FIRST person to be called when that someone needs someone to talk to.....

Had a conference call with Adi and Erik this afternoon...that was fun...they will forever be my boys no matter what :) I just wish I have that one extended group of friends that I can hang with just like how they have their own....I envy their social lives...but I am forever grateful for their friendship...

morning thoughts...

I had a dream about Bong...it was kinda blurry...I don't remember much about it but I just remember waking up feeling just a little uneasy. I think I'm going to take some of my friends' advices to actually go and see a shrink. I know it sounds crazy but I feel like I really need it...well at least not first in my priority but eventually I think I will see a shrink ahhaha...

I had a nice night last night...hung out with Tinia and her fiance, Harry, we saw "I love you, man." It was a hilarious movie...I had a couple of good laughs...that's all that matter =).

My closet broke. That's just another thing that I have to deal with. It's kinda funny actually but I am not liking the fact that I have to deal with the property management fixing it for a couple of days. On top of that, I finally liked the feeling of me settling down in my new place....but this whole thing happened...hahaha...oh well...small things though...

Listening to John Legend now and putting it on shuffle...I feel relaxed...more thoughts later..

I feel you, Kate Monster...

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

In a relationship

That's right! I am in a relationship now!!! With my new baby!!!! :D. Just like when you first got into one, you say, "She/he is soo not my type...but I end up with her/him anyway..." Totally how I feel right now lol...

May I introduce you to....my ride...not sure bout the name yet...ideas???




Crazy...I know...I never ever thought that I would drive a bimmer in my entire life. But then again, I believe that everything happens for a reason. My brother in law is selling his bimmer because he got a new car...he sold it for me for a 'family' price. I trust him for taking care of it because he is a car kinda guy. Plus, it eliminated the hassle of me buying a second-hand car from a stranger, which is gonna cost me pretty much the same for a lower quality car.

Highlight of my weekend down in OC:

I was hanging out with Calie when she was having her dinner....I got hungry so I was munching on some peanuts...she looked at me and wanted some...afraid that she'd choke on it, my immediate reasoning was to tell her that peanuts are adults' snacks. Then she asked...when will she be an adult...I said...it will be a while....she then said, "I want it to be faster..." I immediately looked her in the eyes and said..."Honey, you don't want to rush it...remember this....take your time growing up...you won't regret it."

Saying that to a 3-year-old has definitely reminded me how sometimes, you just wanna rush into things cuz life just passes you by without you even enjoying the ride or knowing it...

*sigh* I swear sometimes I feel like Calie teaches me way more than I teach her....

that papercut ache you feel but it's on your heart...

Hi,

It's been a year and some odd months ever since I broke up with Bong. I am still paying for my dues. At least I'm at the point where I really really genuinely want to move on. I cannot wait to get a job so I can just stay focus on that.

I heard from a good friend today that you had your birthmark removed. As soon as I heard that...I suddenly felt this small, little heartache...kinda like a papercut...I just feel like that's a part of you that I really really love and adore...and now it's gone...

Then I am reminded of how much I am out of your life now. I'm really really slowly fading into the background just like what Ne Yo said hahahaha....I don't know you anymore.

Maybe I should see this as a good sign :) for me to move on. No more those familiar things that keeps me from thinking of you.

Maybe it's time for me to say goodbye for real...no more Bong that I was madly in love with. That Bong is gone...

an update...just for you, P.

So...I moved to L.A.

People had been asking me when I was up north..."How do you feel?"

Honestly, I was indifferent about it. I just felt like it needed to be done. I feel I will have a better chance in finding a job here. Not to mention, coming home to a familiar face is always nice. Leen was my roommate before I moved to SF. We're comfortable to each other and we seem like we know what our roles are when it comes to house chores.

I had a farewell thing with the boys (4 minutes) from SF and after that night, I just wished I spent more time with them because they are all nice. I could see myself being close to all of them.

One thing that I also missed was the ability to walk outside without feeling out of place. I can't really do that here just because people actually drive to go from point A to point B. I'm gonna have to get used to that whole So Cal lifestyle again.

Of course, I miss P. Just going to her place and have random dinner and a glass of wine or whatever.

It sucks to not have my life where I want it to be now but I am hoping and praying to God that it will get better. In the mean time, whoever read this, please pray for me...

Something to share....my new apt

A view when you walked into our apartment

Kitchen is on the right side...you can tell we don't have furniture yet...lol

Our Kitchen

Inspired by Pen's room...I put curtains before you walk into my side of room

A view when the curtain is opened

My bathroom on the left after you walk through the curtain

My bedroom on the right

Looking out from inside the curtain

A little peek of my bedroom...still not organized/messy

A little peek of Leen's room...much more organized...