Some So Ca pictures

I'm gonna let the picture tell the stories itself :)

Day 1
Day 2
Day 3

Day 4

it's done

I'm trying this new thing where I don't look back...I hope it works. *sigh* Don't look back, Yonius....DO NOT look back...

PS: Thanks, Dit.

So Cal So Far

I'm hanging out with Erik right now...waiting for his ass to pack his stuff and drive me back down to OC. We started off the day with an intense workout session where we went to this area where it has 185 steps and we went for 8 rounds....seriously intense I could see my sweat dropping after the first climb lol.

Then we went to have lunch at an Indonesian restaurant *pics will be posted soon*, where I saw a lot of my childhood snacks...that was kinda interesting..then we went home and changed...and THEN...we went to see a show taping that's called the Bonnie Hunt Show.

It was interesting although I know Erik and I are NOT the target market lol..she's funny and she had a couple of guest stars Nia Vardalos and Glenn Campbell. Now, just chilling at Erik's place..

I got here on Sunday and Tinia picked me up..and then at night, Bong, Andy, and Emmett picked me up and we went to the new Garden Walk by Disneyland..it was a really nice place. Then we ate at Roy's, spent $40 there for dinner and I honestly think I didn't pay enough...my point is that it was an expensive dinner but it was really good. Then we saw The Bunny House...the movie was pretty funny. Then I spent a night there cuz the next day (Monday) Andy, Bong, and I went to Laguna Beach. Got a little tan there and then they took me back to my sis place.

************* my feelings so far **************

I miss my niece a lot and I felt so loved when she plays with me...I'm happy for that....

I am insecure because I think Bong is moving on and to be quite honest, I haven't...I KNOW..it's been almost one year and I am still honestly emotionally unavailable....I kept telling myself to just face it though...I should be happy if Bong is happy...and I'd rather have bong in my life as a friend then not have my ex at all....I have to be honest, I still can't bear to think the fact that bong will be with someone else.....(thinking happy thoughts right now to distract me)....

Anyways...that's it so far....I'll definitely post some pics soon...I'm using Erik's TV computer with a big ass screen...cool.....catch with you later...

Miscellaneous...

There's a lot of things that I wanna talk about so let me ramble away, blog.........
The majority of this blog content goes to one of my close friends, Prelita...you are one of the strongest woman that I've ever known. I know I've encountered a lot of strong people in my life and I am glad and very proud to add you on my lists of strong people in my life. I will tell you the reason why:

• You cope with your crisis really differently. I loved it when I heard you and Pen talked about your childhood memories involving your families
• You don't dwell.....YOU DEAL with it.....you go, girl
• You really remind me how family is the most important thing in the world..you make me miss my family dearly and that's the only thing that matters...relationships...relationships with one another, relationships with families....relationships with God.

Thank you...and I love you for that. I know for a fact that I will be extremely sad when you're moving back to So Cal.....=(

On a lighter note, another close friends of mine, Ross & Grace, just tied the knot on 08/08/08 in Bali, Indonesia. I was really bummed out that I couldn't make it at their wedding because I was really planning to go. I saw the pictures and it was really beautiful..how I wished I was a part of that special day. I'm glad I'm gonna see them along with my pledge bros in a couple of weeks and give them their wedding gift.

Finals week this week and next week. And then back to OC after that. I honestly can't wait...I miss my niece and I need a break from school. The gloomy weather is kinda getting into me and my sensitivity lol....can't you tell?

TOLD YA I GOT LOTS OF STUFF TO TALK ABOUT!!!!! ha....back to studying.

Pressure

So I'm starting to feel the pressure now. Finals week is coming and I have 3 main papers due, 3 exams and 1 presentation to worry about...not to mention it's been kinda gloomy here in Sunset...doesn't help at all T_T

I HATE childish attitude. I know it's random but *SIGH* it's very frustrating and I need to get over my ex. I NEED to. I HAVE to. Got pictures from rafting today...

chat with Bubba...

you earn your smiles
your victories
your happiness
its not handed to you by society
you make it
that way they can't take it from you at all
they have no claim to it


my thoughts and prayers are with you, P. Love you and Happy Birthday. I know it's hard to celebrate it right now but I want to tell you that it's a blessing for me to have your friendship and I thank your parents for that.

This weekend

So this weekend was pretty fun. Erik & Nita came to visit from So Cal and we all went white water rafting on Saturday. There were 5 of us Erik, Nita, Adi, Kevin and myself. It was my first time and we went to class 3. It was super fun and tiring! Overall, this weekend was tiring just because Erik was just ready to have his vacation...lol...we went straight to clubbing after white water rafting. The next day we woke up early to have dim sum and walked around downtown. Then my other friend, Tinia, came and visit til Friday this week.

I feel so restless this week just because I have to host. I know they weren't expecting me to host them but it just something that I feel obligated to do since they are coming to visit me. Anyways...I can't wait for our rafting picture to come so I can post them here....bed time....good night...

a letter for you.

Dear you,

9 months later.
I am still in the same place.
I hate you.
I only think about you.
I think about my future.
You could've been in it.
We could've been it.
I disappoint myself.
For thinking of you.
Enough.
Get out, you.

Fireworks....

Happy 4th! I'm just writing to recap my weekend...

So Belinda came to town to visit Prelita and I. To sum...it was a LONG weekend. I am kinda glad that I have Sunday all by myself. It started with us going to dinner at Borobudur on Thursday. Then on Friday, we went to Japan town and Golden Gate Park during the day, followed by fireworks at Fisherman's Wharf...it was my first 4th in SF too...it was foggy so we couldn't really see the fireworks, it was the coldest 4th of July I've ever experienced...it was also FUN! We laughed a lot just being silly.

Saturday we went to the Fillmore Jazz Festival, then we ended it with Poleng...highlight of the day...we just ATE a lot...haha...

All in all, I had fun this weekend...I hope Bely did too. It was super tiring but it was fun! Below are some pictures we took at the park and Fisherman's Wharf...

another smoking ad...

Every now and then, I come across ads like this one and it makes me smile...

ABDC season 2

So...i have a favorite team...just for the mere reason that one of the guys in this group has a pretty interesting background....basically his Dad taught him how to do his first wave, which he then relate that to his dancing talent...his Dad is now in comma and basically the whole team was basing his life story as their motto of life, you never know when is your last day....


my highlight on this team:
on the first episode of the new season, the interviewer asked the guy, "if your father was awake right now, what would he say about you dancing for ABDC?" he then answered..."Just like me," relating to the dad's lesson of the first wave he did......

the interviewer continued asking him, "what would you say to him if he's awake now?"...he paused...then answered.."Just like you." short and sweet....that's when i fell in love....i'm voting for this team...

Stupid...

So I am not so sure what was I thinking tonight in my class. We were talking about presentation skills and how to overcome fear and general stuff like that. And so my stupid self had to open my big mouth and say "Well honestly, to overcome nervousness, picture everyone naked. It really relaxes you." The teacher just totally looked at me weird and I don't even wanna know what the entire class thought of me. Just typing it and thinking about it right now still makes me feel so freakin dumb.....*sigh* that was my highlight of the night.....


To make myself feel better, I went to Fisherman's Wharf and got me a Strawberry Chocolate milkshake. It was a full moon. I love my city =)

today

I had an interview...then one of the lady asked me the most basic and simple question, "What inspires you?" then I found myself startled a little bit before I answered it. The first immediate person that pop out of my head was my Dad...and then my mom....and I realized that I was pausing for a couple of second...I didn't want them to wait too long....and so I said...my family.

I find myself relating a lot to my family...throughout this whole time, every step I take here in the United States...let that be in O.C. or S.F., my sole goal is to earn that sense of belonging, a sense of tight-knit group, a family. Although sometimes I forget, I know deep down that my family is my rock. They are the reason why I am still doing what I am doing...striving for my big dream.

I want to make my parents proud. Although I know I'm disappointing them in certain ways. I want them to know that I can still turn out an okay human being with all of the values they have taught me. I know I say this a lot...I really do miss my family. Without them, I wouldn't be as loving as I am right now. That is why I love my friends. Because my family loves me.

not so deep...thoughts...

I have never really put any thoughts into life in general lately and a conversation with a friend has made me realized how my perspective in life is put together. I went to a seminar for International Student at my school to discuss about working opportunities in the United States after I graduate and one thing I realized was that the rules are getting harder and harder. It just seems like the U.S. don't want me to be here...or at least that's how I take it....this has a lot to do with my previous experiences when it comes to trying to stay or come back to the U.S.

At this point, I don't wanna say that I am giving up. I am not, I am still trying my damn best to be here and at the same time, I gotta start thinking about my backup plans....26 is still young, I am lucky to have good friends, good health, and most of all, good and loving family. However, I need to start acting like a man. I can't keep hanging around and taking things day by day although sometimes, that's how you gotta see life.

A conversation with a friend has made me realized that the world is small. I am so glad I'm doing what I am doing right now, going back to grad school. So far, this experience has made me realized that I have lived in a really tiny bubble and that I don't know a lot of stuff outside my bubble. I might move to China or Australia or Canada. The seminar reminded me that this is not my home. Or at least not my home yet. I gotta start plan ahead. However, for now, it's necessary to just enjoy what I have and let it sink in...really deep and take it with me wherever I am going....deep blog...i know...I don't get this too often except when I'm with my close friends...we always talk about life and how human evolve and wanna do bigger and better things...*sigh* I love my friends...they are my family here.

To close up, Lil Andy made my weekend by sharing this video with me...I love Anjelah Johnson.

Plan

I cannot wait to graduate on December so I can start looking for a new job and just concentrate on that. After talking to my Dad over the weekend, I am more determined to finish my school. I've made plans for the next two years...what's gonna happen and what if things go the way I want or if things go the way I don't want em to be...I've got backup plans...let's just hope things go the way I hope....

In the mean time, I am in the process of redesigning my website to look for my new job after Masters school. I'm pumped and excited. =)

We've run out of words we've run out of time
We've run out of reasons really why we together
We both know it's over baby bottom line
It's best we don't even talk at all

Don't call me even if I should cross your mind
Hard enough I don't need to hear your voice on my messages
Let's just call it quits it's probably better
So if I'm not returning your calls it's 'cause

'Cause I'm not comin' back I'm closing the door
I used to be trippin' over missin' you but I'm not anymore
I got the picture phone but baby your picture's gone
Couldn't stand to see your smile every time you dialed

'Cause it's over
Girl you know it's over this time
So when you call I'm pressin' seven
Don't wanna hear your messages messages
I'm tryna erase you from my mind
'Cause it's over
I swear girl it's over this time
So don't keep callin' leavin' messages
Don't wanna know where you been
Baby 'cause it's over

I still wake up every morning quarter to ten
I still eat my cereal right at the kitchen table
I can't even remember how long it's been
No trouble stayin' occupied

Oh I ask about you whenever I come around
I do what I can not to put my business in the streets
Last thing I need's another episode
Keep conversation short and sweet because

'Cause I'm not comin' back I'm closing the door
I used to be trippin' over missin' you but I'm not anymore
I got the picture phone baby your picture's gone
Couldn't stand to see your smile every time you dialed

'Cause it's over
Girl you know it's over this time
So when you call I'm pressin' seven
Don't wanna hear your messages messages
I'm tryna erase you from my mind
'Cause baby it's over
I swear girl it's over this time
So don't keep callin' leavin' messages
Don't wanna know where you been
Baby 'cause it's over

You know that it's over when the burnin'
And the yearnin' inside your heart ain't there anymore
And you know that you're through when she don't do to you
And move you like the way she moved ya before

And you wanna pull her close
But your heart has froze
You kiss her but her eyes don't close
Then she goes out of your heart forever
And it hurts you but you know that it's better

Girl you know it's over
Girl you know it's over this time
So when you call I'm pressin' seven
Don't wanna hear your messages messages
I'm tryna erase you from my mind
'Cause it's over
I swear girl it's over this time
So don't keep callin' leavin' messages
Don't wanna know where you been
Baby 'cause it's over
'Cause it's over
Girl you know it's over this time
So when you call I'm pressin' seven
Don't wanna hear your messages messages
I'm tryna erase you from my mind
'Cause it's over
I swear girl it's over this time
So don't keep callin' leavin' messages
Don't wanna know where you been
Baby 'cause it's over

=(

It's been 5 days now, consecutively I've been having the same constant dream. I hate waking up sad and/or feeling weird. Help me.

Trouble Is

How come you never know
What you got until it's gone
Too bad
Because I never felt so good with anyone
How fooled was I into thinking
I was gonna be alright
Okay
Fine

So every day I try a little harder
To forget her
Lie here convince myself
Tomorrow will be better

The trouble is I can't get her out of my mind
When I close my eyes at night
Who's gonna save me
Now she's gone
The trouble is there's a part of me
That still can't let go of her memory
And now I know what it is
Love is what the trouble is

Love is what the trouble is

How come she said
You never wear your heart
Where I can see
Too bad
Cause now I'm the one
Who's sorry
How stupid was I into thinking
I was gonna be alright
Okay
Fine
So everyday I find a little something
To remind me
No matter how I try
I can't put the past behind me

Love has let me go
I'm alright, I'm okay
I'll be fine, give it time

But the only trouble is I can't get her out of my mind
When I close my eyes at night
Who's gonna save me
Now she's gone (she's gone)
The trouble is there's a part of me
That still can't let go of her memory (I just can't)
And now I know what it is (now I know)
And now I know what it is
Cause love is what the trouble is
The trouble
Love... Love is what the trouble is

YES!!!!

My grades from last semester:

ENGL-301-C1	GRADUATE WRITING	A	3.00
MKT-339-SF1	ADVERTISING STRATEGY	A+	3.00
PR-320-SF1	CONTEMP PUBLIC RELATIONS	A	3.00
MKT-305-SF1	INTEGRATED MKTG COMMUNICATION	A-	3.00

I am happy =)

mess

I am but it's a pretty one....beautiful mess.

think.

before you talk. A friend is suppose to bring you up when you're down...not making you feel like shit even more. I guess my roomie is right....it'll toughen me up.

maaannn.....i'm so still on my vacation mode....=(

spring break recap

I'm still down here in OC. Re-connecting with my friends was really nice. The highlight of my visit down to OC this time was the Alpha Theta reunion. It was nice to hang out with my pledge bros. Grace's bday was the reason why we were there. I can't believe I got to see Saba!!!


And then...Kauai...the first day we got there, we just went and had dinner. Since it's 3 hours ahead there, we went to bed pretty early. The next day, we went to a little diner by our hotel to have breakfast and we met a new friend on our table, by the condiments.....

Yeap...it's a freaking gecko!

Then we went to get some stuff for our kayaking and hiking to the secret waterfalls at Wailua River. We didn't have a descent camera so we took some pictures with Nate's cell phone camera lol..ghetto!

Trying to look sexy after jumping to the water..it's cold!!

Nate took this shot, it's pretty cool...it gives a sense of hope...

Before lunch...the tour came with a sandwich lunch and a bag of chip, it was pretty cool eating there by the waterfalls. We came at the right time too because there weren't that many tourist.

Trying to be like the local. Behind us was the waterfall but since it's a cell phone camera, we didn't get the background shot we wanted..lol...

Second day we drove to the North shore at Hanalua Bay and went snorkeling. That was fun too! I got sun burnt! and then followed by walking around the downtown of Kapaa by our hotel. Third day we explored the South shore and went to the stores. Then we had dinner in downtown Kapaa at the House of Noodle. Then back to OC the fourth day...
Overall, it was a really relaxing vacation...Kauai reminds me a lot of Borneo where my parents came from, except maybe a little cleaner haha. I can't wait to go back home to the city. For some reason, I'm a little bummed and sad...not sure why...it's probably cuz I was rekindling some old memories...*sigh*...last but not least, I made something for Prelita before I came down here and I think I need to use it for myself....

MAHALO

Today my whole identity was being questioned. I have never encounter this experience before that it really made me question myself. I am considered as a brother by few, a best friend by some, a good friend by others, but never once I foresee that my future friendship with one of the people that I care the most of is being looked down upon. I can't do anything but listened, the more I try to question his views, the more frustrated the both of us are. This is really frustrating. A vacation to begin with, and I'm coming home with my offering of love & friendship being questioned. THANK YOU, my friend, for knowing to make me stop and think about who I am. Just like what you said..."for what it's worth....I had fun..."

It's done!

So I'm done with my finals...YAY! all I'm waiting for are the grades from each class...I just hope I got As...I freaking deserve it! this is what I did for KBToys.com

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Leavin to OC tomorrow for 10 days...can't wait to see Calie again =]

small sh*t

Trust me I am not a hateful person...but I seriously don't like it when people lie and try to manipulate you into doing whatever they want you to do...or believe whatever they want you to believe at that time....that's just FAKE....fake people bothers me and therefore I don't associate myself with them....*sigh*...i'm glad that's out of my chest...i feel better now...thanks Blog! lol....

Fisherman Wharf - Sausalito

Yeap...I biked that bridge across to Sausalito...my butt still hurts but damn, it was worth it :)

Thanks to Prelita...my day today was started with this quote:

As we willingly enter each place of fear, each place of deficiency and insecurity in ourselves, we will discover that its walls are made of untruths, of old images of ourselves, of ancient fears, of false ideas of what is pure and what is not.
- Jack Kornfield

It makes me feel positive =)

appreciation

very very underrated. as i learned i shouldn't have taken anything personally anymore because i am nobody for anyone anymore. although gray is one of my favorite colors, i hate gray area at this moment. i can't deal with negativity....

random thoughts...

so last night...flo rida never showed up haha....good thing we only paid $10 to get in....one highlight of my day today is this:



she's the only one that keeps my life going right now...

LOW

Prelita is draggin me to see FLOrida tonight in the city...I hope he's good...all I know is he sings "Apple bottom jeans....bla bla bla...the whole world is looking at her....shotty got low low low low"

W*E*I*R*D

I haven't felt like this ever since the first month I moved up....hmmmm....

TEST

These past week has been a test for me. First I lost my cell phone. Then I am overcoming this flu that has been living in my body for the past 10 days. AND THEN...I got a ticket today. FUCK...FUCK...FUCK....i know I typed it...I'm pissed. I know this shall pas...it's just a test...life is a roller coaster right? Despite all that though. I still love SF. Amen to that.

whole week cold

Soooo....I've been having this cold since last week and it kills me to not get over it. I admit I haven't been really taking care of myself lately which I totally should =(....I also lost my cell phone this week and that totally bummed me out...Oh, I have a new bff to explore the city around...prelita...she's sick too LoL so I don't have to worry about gettin her sick....highlight of the week...I'm done with one of my classes...our presentation went really well...our company is Zipcar and we made an ad based on our research....hells ya I designed it =) woot woot...it was so appropriate too that we wore green cuz it's St. Patrick day weekend. So...this is our IMC ad for zipcar......

Went to church today and I felt peaceful...but I have a mild fever now...I miss OC and I don't think it's cuz of the place..it's cuz of the people I love down there...I miss them...*sigh* can't wait to feel 100% normal again so I can go back to the gym and be active.....

random thoughts...

I think I need some time for myself....

Bittersweet...

That's exactly how I feel tonight....
=(

SF Local...

Today is the first day I feel like a local. Someone in the Muni bus asked me "Is this going downtown?" and I answered surely "No, it's the other way around." Then we got off at the same stop and I gave him direction to get downtown...damn I felt like a local...LoL....it's been two months and every time I stop and take my time walking home, I still can't believe I'm in SF. *SIGH* I love the city :)

Sippin away my green milk tea with boba now.....contemplating if I should get the new Janet Jackson CD...I'm never a big fan of her but her spoofs of MTV's shows really crack me up...making me wanna support her for having such a great sense of humor.

weekend visit to the OC

So I think I accomplished a lot at the OC. Wednesday I got a massage at Massage Envy, thanks Bong for the treat. Then on Thursday and Friday, I hung out with my sister and my niece. I took some pictures of her...she's all grown and talk so much now....she's so cute. I finally moved all of my stuff from L108. Although I was pissed about the whole $30 extra that we had to cough up because the UHaul was dirty...that was bullshit. Then on Saturday night, I made my very first Arroz Kaldo for Bong cuz we're both sick....it turned out pretty good and I'm pretty damn proud of myself. I'm still sick though =( *COUGH* Anyways....below are some inspired pics that I took of my little angel......I miss her already....

And my favorite....

more pics...

It took me a while to post it...mondays and tuesdays are my classes nights...here are pics I took of Maria...she was the model of the day at Japan town ahaha...




Hip hop class tonight...so excited :)

photo 101

So I went to Little Italy and Japan Town yesterday with Maria...i miss my designing time...I made two things real quick...nothing too crazy but it squeezes a little bit of my creative juice...




Text messaging and smoking are fun topics haha....

Birthday Weekend

So I want to write about my birthday weekend just cuz it's so different from my previous birthdays, where I used to have all of my close friends celebrating it with me. This year, only two people who have been celebrating it with me came: Nathan and Emmett. I have to say, it's very interesting and I had a blast! Nate sure made my weekend special...he tries hard...thanks a bunch!!!....also, this year's bday I got a really cool present from my sister....i have to say it's one of the best bday gift ever:



I am the luckiest uncle...ever....